It's Official...Chewbacca Gets Mouse Ears

This week, Disney announced that it had purchased Lucasfilm for approximately $4 billion from childhood demi-God, George Lucas. 

In the deal, Lucas receives 40 million shares of Disney stock which he plans to convert into Republic Credits (obviously no good on Tatooine).  Lucas says he will retire after the deal, despite Disney's intent to offer him a job as a creative consultant, and has plans to move to the forest moon of Endor and "just take it easy for a while". 

Disney has already made plans to continue the Star Wars saga which will begin with; Episode VII "Trying to Remember What Happened Last Because The Movies Are All Out Of Order And It Has Been Like 50 Years Or So Since We Last Saw These Characters." which will be in theaters in 2015.

Here is how Disney says that it will begin..................

 A 

long

time ago

but not as

long as it was 

the first time, in a

galaxy far, far, far, far

away, we last saw, Luke, 

Leia, Han Solo, Chewy, C-3PO,

R2-D2, and the Gremlins having a camping

party after Luke killed his father.  With the Emperor 

dead and Darth Vadar revealed (by the way, great job by 

the make-up people in Episode VI they Made James Earl Jones 

a white guy and changed his voice to soft) the characters prepare to move on 

in Episode VII.  It is discovered that the Emperor didn't actually die in the lightning 

fight with Darth Vader but did have an epiphany.  The Emperor quickly departed the Death 

Star and went straight to a doctor who performed a sexchange operation.  The new Empress will 

be played by Disney icon Annette Funicelloas as Disney wastes no time forcing a social issue.  So we begin on the forest moon of Endor, right where we left off

...........................................................................in 1983

A couple of character liberties and casting notes that you should know.

It is learned that Boba Fett (Ryan Gossling) did not die in the big sand monster, The Sarlacc, mouth, as he had not yet been paid.  

He immediately went back to Jaba's lair to collect what he could to complete his payment, but all that he could find was the Max Rebo Band; Max Rebo- Piano (Dumbo), Droopy McCool- some random woodwind instrument (Raven Seymone), and Sy Snootles- vocals (Miley Cyrus) who had returned from the sand sea to begin  rehearsal.  

At that moment, Boba Fett remembered how much his father, Jengo Fett,  had loved music while trapped on that rainy planet, Kamino, with all of those people that looked just like him.  So Fett becomes the manager of the Max Rebo Band.  SPOILER ALERT!!!!  At the end of the film Boba Fett lands a gig for The Max Rebo Band.  They open for the Jonas Brothers at the rebuilding ceremonies on Coruscant.  The Jonas Brothers were actually the Cantina Band from Episode IV "A New Hope".

Admiral Ackbar (Orlando Brown) received a message from the new rebel base about a Sith invasion and wants to send  R2-D2 (Atticus Shaffer) and C-3PO (Justin Timberlake) to preview the situation.  As part of the deal, Disney had to accept that the droids will wander off at random periods of time so they decided to just send them out to start with. Pretty Smart eh?  

Ackbar sends the droids back in time, which is weird because they were already long ago and far away, and they run into a Jedi Knight who claims to have trained Yoda.  

 

Master Gormo (Jiminy Cricket) doesn't believe the Droids' story (about being from the future) mostly because Yoda hasn't been born yet.  So, C-3PO concludes that Admiral Ackbar's time machine missed the mark and recommends getting the little English fellow from the Family Guy for the next movie, assuming there is time travel in the script.

Back on the forest moon, Han Solo (Donald Duck) loses the Millenium Falcon in a card game and Luke (Mickey Mouse) gets really pissed because everybody wants to try to pile in his X-Wing Fighter.  

Luke bolts when no one is looking leaving the crew to hitch-hike home.  Solo sticks out his thumb on the Forest Moon Expressway and Benny the Cab (last seen in Who Framed Roger Rabbitt) pulls over and picks them up.  

There seems to be some argument about who will sit in the front seat as Lando (King Louie from the Jungle Book) refuses to sit in the back.  Leia (Minnie Mouse) allows him to sit up front so that she and Han can make out in the back.  Then suddenly the cab lights up, CASH CAB! How well do you think this trio does?

Disney has indicated that appearances will be made, throughout the saga, by many members of the Disney family.  

Rumored are:

 

New Jedi Council

Simba

Piglet

Aladdin

Selena Gomez

Baloo

Goofy

Christina Aguilera

Princes Ariel

Sith Lords

Jafar

Mustafa

Lindsey Lohan

White Rabbit

Hilary Duff

Winnie the Pooh

Geppetto as Darth Iger

Brittney Spears as Darth Iger (transgender)

It is my understanding; that Leia and Han Solo use their winnings from Benny the Cash Cab to get a hotel room where they conceive a son who will one day save the galaxy.  

Jacon Solo (Pinocchio) will grow up under the supervision of Chewbacca (Zac Efron) because Han and Leia disappear (contract issues) and Jacon Solo collects role models, portrayed by the White Rabbit, Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Jessica Rabbit.  

Because Jacen Solo is raised by these pot heads and freaks, the Star Wars saga fades into a hooka induced haze and the Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland narrates Episode VIII "We Feel As If We Have Lost All Direction On This..... But People Are Still Lining Up At The Box Office, So We Will Keep Making Movies". 

We Are!..........................................Disney!  

(Matthew McConaughey wanted to yell that... but Disney wouldn't let him. He was contracted by Warner Bro's. for that film)

The galaxy is transformed into a happy place full of dreams and rainbows, inundated with subliminal sexual messages and social political messaging suitable for no one.  The tipping point comes in Episode IX "No One Has Any F#%@*ng Idea What Is Going On Anymore" when the Mad Hatter is using a public restroom and Scrooge McDuck enters the adjoining stall and taps his foot.

On a side note, Disney is trying to locate Charlie the Unicorn for a cameo appearance in Episode IX.

God, I hope the Mayans were right.

In Theaters 2015-2020.

 

Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman Split: The True Story

The DeVito family

The news came down like a ton of bricks, Hollywood power couple Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman are separating after 30 years of marriage.  The megastars share three grown children and a production company, and apparently, no decision has been made as to how anything will operate after the split is official.

Jersey Films has produced 27 film and television shows:
 


 From imdb

1. Manhunt (2014) ... Production Company
2. A Walk Among the Tombstones (2013) ... Production Company
3. St. Sebastian (2013) ... Production Company
4. Reno 911!: Miami (2007) ... Production Company
5. Freedom Writers (2007) ... Production Company
6. Be Cool (2005) ... Production Company
7. Garden State (2004) ... Production Company
8. Along Came Polly (2004) ... Production Company
9. "Reno 911!" (2003) ... Production Company
10. Camp (2003) ... Production Company
11. How High (2001) ... Production Company
12. Erin Brockovich (2000) ... Production Company
13. Man on the Moon (1999) ... Production Company
14. Living Out Loud (1998) ... Production Company
15. Out of Sight (1998) ... Production Company
16. "The Sport Jerks" (1998) ... Production Company
17. "The Sport Jerks: Pilot" (1998) ... Production Company
18. Gattaca (1997) ... Production Company
19. Fierce Creatures (1997) ... Production Company
20. Feeling Minnesota (1996) ... Production Company
21. Matilda (1996) ... Production Company
22. Sunset Park (1996) ... Production Company
23. Get Shorty (1995) ... Production Company
24. Pulp Fiction (1994) ... Production Company
25. 8 Seconds (1994) ... Production Company
26. Reality Bites (1994) ... Production Company
27. Hoffa(1992)....ProductionCompany          

Danny DeVito

You may recognize DeVito from his role as Frank, the loveable-hate-able bar owner/entrepreneur in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  DeVito actually burst on to the scene co-starring with Jack Nicholson in, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest in 1975 and then starred in the  ABC hit sitcom Taxi (1978), when he reprised the role of Louie De Palma, the gruff and obnoxious dispatcher of the Sunshine Cab Company set in New York City.  DeVito went on to make movies such as Terms of Endearment, Twins, Romancing the Stone, Ruthless People, Throw Momma From the Train, Other Peoples Money, Batman Returns, Hoffa, and many more.  To date, Danny DeVito has been credited 187 times in film and television.

Rhea Perlman

Rhea Perlman first met Danny DeVito, as a six episode guest on Taxi.  She would of' course go on to become the always pregnant, sarcastic, and hateful, Carla Tortelli in the super-mega hit Cheers on NBC where she had an eleven year run of success.  Many guest spots on television would follow, until she landed her own show Pearl on NBC, but that only lasted 22 pitiful episodes, despite featuring Lucy Liu and Malcolm McDowell in supporting roles for Perlman.

Chris Burke!

So the news of the split is noteworthy not only because these two have become major players in the Hollywood arena and mostly recognized as a team; but due to the fact that they were a beacon of hope for ugly people everywhere.  If these two people can find love then it is possible for anybody.  Even Chris Burke got some ass by claiming "At least I'm not Danny DeVito"

As you learn more about this monumental break-up, ignore it.

We, at Hollywood From The Hill have the whole story condensed into a 90 min. video.  If you are someone who is searching for the truth about the power couple's relationship, watch the tell all video below.
                                                                                                            

The New Normal Falls Short Of It's Goal!

Click to watch

NBC has created a television program that is intended to bring down all biases that John Q Public has developed from the horrible years that the Cleavers and the Bradys spent trying to make us understand that life, can in fact, be rosey.

That program is called The New Normal and can be viewed on NBC, Tuesdays at 9:30/8:30c. (I never understood the whole eight thirty, nine thirty central thing. First of all, do people not know what time zone they are in?  One would think that after one goof where a favorite program was missed, the lesson would have been learned by people in central time.  And what about the people in pacific time?  Do they not get to watch any of these shows?  The West Coast is where the shows are made, so maybe they see them live. I dunno.)

The New Normal is a show about a woman; who is a single mom, who has a grandmother that raised her. The grandmother is crass and an extremely right wing opinionated bitch with very little room for acceptance in her heart. The woman flees to the West Coast and she meets a gay couple, who want to have a baby and there is a black woman with blond hair.  Got it?

This is not a new concept.  In my humble opinion, this nothing more than an updated version of Brian Cooke's ABC sitcom Too Close For Comfort, only Monroe has multiplied and the Ted Knight character is played by Ellen Barkin.

Ellen Barkin has tumbled back to earth after having a noteworthy career on the big screen. Barkin, who has starred with DeNiro, Pacino, DiCaprio, Bridges and Nicholson, now appears weekly on the little screen with NeNe Leakes, whose claim to fame is The Real House Wives of Atlanta.

click to watch Three's Company

The New Normal isn't even that dissimilar to Three's Company, another Cooke show which aired in the 1980's on ABC, only this time Barkin's role is modeled after the roles played by Norman Fell (Mr. Roper) and later by Don Knotts (Mr. Furley).  Even though Jack Tripper, played by John Ritter, isn't gay, they pretend that he is so that he can rent an apartment with two women. (You might not remember, but there was a time when it was better to be gay then to live with a member of the opposite sex without being married)

This was a transitional move used by ABC to acclimate the American viewers to alternate lifestyles.  Monroe, played by Jim J Bullock, from Too Close for Comfort, was openly gay both on the show and in real life which served as the intended natural progression for cultural assimilation. 

So, I guess the American viewer hasn't evolved fast enough for Hollywood to develop programming that can be subtle.  The message seems to be the same, that alternate lifestyles are not only okay, but that the consumer better get on board or get going.  The cable networks have lots of programming that subtly introduces different types of people (True Blood), and the networks have followed suit with shows like, Modern Family on ABC and Glee on FOX, both of which which show alternative lifestyle characters interacting in everyday situations with persons of more traditional lifestyles. (I hate that we have to define the different lifestyles)

Lydia at a Dodgers game in 2009

I am afraid that The New Normal takes it a little too far.  If the intention by the show's creators, Ryan Murphy and Ali Adler, is to educate America by shocking them into acceptance the way that Cooke did in the late 70's and 80's, I will caution them with one little fact.  (Ellen Barkin, if you are reading please pay special attention)  Acclimation comes with growing pains.

Too Close For Comfort was canceled when Ted Knight died. John Ritter died of an aortic dissection. Jim J Bullock lost his partner to HIV and learned that he, too, has the virus.  Suzanne Somers ( Chrissy, Three's Company) sells exercise equipment. Joyce DeWitt (Janet Three's Company) has had legal troubles due to substance abuse and cannot seem to resurrect her career.  Richard Kline (Larry from Three's Company) was last seen in 2007 as the 32nd credited actor in the smash hit, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.  Nancy Dussault (Muriel Rush, Too Close) was last seen on Broadway in 1989. Deborah Van Valkenburgh (Jackie Rush, Too Close for Comfort) is still acting but her films are debuting at Cinema and Draft houses in places like Alamo, TX.  Lydia Cornell (Sara Rush from Too Close) is writing and doing radio now, which is a shame because she looks great at 59 years old.  Norman Fell and Don Knotts have both passed away.

Is awreness important? Of course it is.  But remember, everything has a price.  Sometimes it's your career and sometimes it's your life.  For Lydia Cornell, it wasn't her boobs, that's for sure!

Enjoy!

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo: Just Booooooo!

Alana Thompson aka Honey Boo Boo.

So there is this show on TLC that made me vomit.  That would be the reality television show called, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

Honey Boo Boo is actually seven year old Alana Thompson of McInyre, Georgia who was discovered on the reality television series Toddlers and Tiaras, also a TLC product.  Here Comes Honey Boo Boo follows the budding young runway star and her family through their daily lives of eating cheese balls and calling each other fat.

I am personally horrified that people watch this show.  I am more horrified that the show's Facebook page has over 105,000 likes.  (Find the link yourself.)

This family openly refers to themselves as rednecks and they certainly fit the stereotype.  The patriarch of the family, a hard working man called, Sugar Bear (Alana's father Mike Thompson, not the father of the other kids, they all have different Dads) works seven days a week leaving mom (June Shannon) and the four daughters to focus on developing their blue collar image.

There are two full shelving units of toilet paper stored in the family kitchen but only one bathroom in the house.  The eldest daughter has just given birth to a baby that was born with an extra thumb (professional hitchhiker? Excuse me, could you please thumb me a limo?) while she attempts to finish High School.  One of the daughters is nicknamed Chubbs!  Oh! she has a good chance at being self confident. This family believes that the more you fart, the healthier you are! For real, they said it.

The mother, "Mama" is 309 lbs and has established her own language.  She uses words like beautamous, and phrases like "You better Redneckognize!"

Then there is our little pageant queen who has plenty of charisma but limited couth.

They believe that this young woman, already overweight, has a shot at being Miss America. 

Does Donald Trump know about this? 

Billy Redden playing Dueling Banjos opposite Ronnie Cox in Deliverance

These people are so country that TLC uses sub-titles when they speak.  THEY ARE IN GEORGIA, USA, not Georgia the former Soviet Republic.

TLC is an acronym for The Learning Channel, so what am I learning here?  The only thing that can possibly learned from this television program is that the banjo playing character from Deliverance actually reproduced.

Product Placement in Hollywood: Out of Control

The art of selling goods by placing them in television shows and movies is nothing new.  Advertising is now, and always will be a bazillion dollar industry, that is, until we humans stop consuming things or completely run out of money.  Some adds are shameless, some are tasteful, and some are even subliminal.  Coca-cola historically inserted adds to flash during motion pictures.  The viewer never actually recognized the add, the image just burned into their brain and sent them directly to the concession stand.

Coke has now reverted to placing adds on the desks/podiums in major television shows like American Idol.  (I'm sure that is actually Coke in Paula's cup)   The idea is to constantly reinforce to the consumer that Coke is leading the way in the caramel carbonated soft drink game.  This post actually helps their cause.  You're welcome Coke.  No charge, this time!

click to see Time Magazine report

You may remember the movie E.T., Steven Spielberg's famous movie about an alien who moves in with a suburban family.  (Not ALF)  The E.T. ate Reece's Pieces in the film, a relatively new product by Hershey's at the time, and sales shot up 65%. 

click to watch clip

Howard Koch, Jr took a satirical approach to product placement in the Movie Wayne's World.  They blatantly used product placement, even telling people that was exactly what they were doing.



Chuck is a television show on NBC which has no problem partnering with Subway

click to watch clip

But now NBC has taken it to a whole new level.  Not only are they using product placement but they are using it to push an agenda.  In the new hit television series Revolution, NBC has introduced a new eco-friendly automobile.  The car's engine is made completely from plants.

see clip

When is too much, too much?